Tag Archives: Roller derby

All the derby

I’ve now got about 5 scrimmages under my belt including one rookie rumble. I really wish I’d written a post right after I finished it, because it felt so amazing seeing all all my kick ass coaches reffing with shit eating grins on their face the whole time. I felt I could really get things accomplished blocking against jammers that needed a little more time – I forced a couple cut tracks and even delivered a couple hits.

I’ve noticed a few improvements in my game over the last few weeks. Firstly,

I’m less hands-y. I don’t have to use my arms for balance so much, though I still have a long way to go in this area.

I was not blocked out once while jamming. I think I will keep this a goal for ever. I will stay strong and solid and tire the shit out of their blockers. Then I will build on that foundation and try to get some explosive speed worked in. I was also far less tied this time post jamming.

Egg catching. Blocking against super strong, fast jammers like Lock Jaw, it hurts to try and stop her dead, then as you’re recovering from the hit, she blows through you. I think that there were a few times that our team really caught her well and stopped her for a few seconds.

Immediate goals to work on:

Using my team. I leave each jam either thinking that I accomplished something, or I didn’t. I think that’s the problem right there. I need to feel ONE with my team. Since I’m not on one yet, I don’t know everyone’s style and forget to use names or forget what to say. I think this will just take time. But next time, I’m going to stick to my partner and try to talk more.

Hits. I’ve had the goal for a while to hit one person a game. Sometimes I do, mostly I don’t. Timing is so hard and our jammers are so fast. But I have caused a couple sneaky cut tracks where I gently push them out and hold them there. Those are effective because they can’t help but get the penalty, but still, more hitting bitches needed.

My first real bout is Sunday. An invitational with lots of rookies on both sides. I’m so excited!
After every scrimmage I think “I wish I could do this again tomorrow.” I want all the derby!


Win win win

Today was my first real, full length scrimmage. I went in with the goal of not getting hurt, or badly hurting anyone else, and any other moment of triumph would be bonus awesome. Win, win, and a little more win. I helped block Kris My Ass for like, 3 seconds! I love watching her jam, even if she’s against me, it’s so exciting. What an amazing athlete – my life is awesome because I get to play with women like her. So many amazing women! I can not describe how lucky I feel to be apart of this. Everyone has something to teach you. Every game, you can become better than the last because of the people around you.

Tonight’s tips: stay with your partner and don’t chase (I think that last part was more specifically for me as a freshie).

When bridging, don’t look ahead. Only look back. You need to watch that 10 feet barrier and maybe you have more space to take. Watch your rear bridge person.

Things to work on:

Im super hands-y. I didn’t need anyone else to tell me this one, I could feel myself groping for people all the time, and I just tried my best to make sure they were my own teammates. I really need to work on my fast twitch muscles and getting good balance so I can be more solid on my own.

Fucking up the other team’s shit. I have no idea how to help my own jammer.

Some more firsts that felt good:

Lining up for equipment check/a ref reading my number out loud

Finishing a jam with a good moment in it

Pivot helmet covers

My proper number on my arm

A penalty free game (don’t know how many I’ll have)

Being in a pack with the women I’ve idolized for a year. They are even more terrifying and awesome when they’re hitting you for real. (Though I’m sure they were holding back a little)

Love this life.

Exactly where I’m supposed to be.

These last two month have been hard. Harder than anything I thought I could endure. My father in law passed away and we are about to leave our lives here and move to Vancouver Island at some point during the next year. So when I say that I really needed today, I hope you fully grasp my meaning.

My first time skating in two months, so I wasn’t expecting any miracles. But I prayed to those who loved me who are gone now to give me one day where everything worked out just as it should.

Holy fuck. It did.

25.5 laps, a quick test and “Get the fuck in the line!” God, I’m so happy.

I want to remember how awesome the following things felt before they become normal.

The feel of someone writing a number on my arm.

The love from amazing women who are proud of me.

Busting through a line my very first time jamming.

Hearing that double whistle.

Calling off the jam.

Seeing my number at the corner of my eye for the rest of the day.


Driving home feeling like a fucking rock star.

Getting home a realizing that I’ve sustained an injury!


Celebrating something I’ve been working over a year to achieve.


What a fucking perfect day.

The hurt makes it beautiful


Today was the most bitter sweet of practices. I still have a respiratory infection, so I wasn’t sure how I would do. I was coughing pretty bad at the end of each drill, but during the drills I was kind of ok. So I thought I would try my laps and just cough really bad when it was over. I figured it was only my anxiety that was trying to talk myself out of it all together. So after I began, Bertha slowly started to sabotage me in every way she could. The muscle I pulled over my hip started to burn, my blister on my foot would not shut up, and then my throat started to close. So I pussed out and went and got my puffer. I was so wanting today to be the day, it’s been a year now since I started derby and my laps won’t let me get fucking anywhere.

Great drills with hitting today, a super smart pace line. Once through the weaver does the hitting, next time through the weaver gets hit. Loved it. Very helpful for working on timing. I find that I put all of my mental efforts into taking the step and forget all about shutting the car door. We finished with hitting in a pack, when your number is called you have to hit as many people as you can. What beautiful chaos.

The bitterest part of today was the loss of my Dragon. It was her last practice and I know she’s going to leave a huge hole in our league and my life. I will forever be trying to catch up to you and I hope we can have a monster smack down on the track one day. You’re beautiful, I’ll miss you.

It’s close.

Last week rocked. It rocked my socks off. A full practice of hitting and blocking and 25 in 5:15 as a pack (which left me with a hope that if we weren’t staying as a pack I might have made it). I love hitting, I feel like a fighter getting amped up before going in the ring. My timing has gotten better too. We practiced hip hits slowly with a parter stepping in front and using that step to springboard us up into their leg. Seemed super impossible for me in the one on one drills. But when putting it in a pace line, something just clicked. My second time through I was hitting consistently and it felt really natural. This of course is the most un natural setting for lining up hits, but we have to start somewhere,

Oh, and shit, after all of my whining at how much I suck at everything, I have to brag about my epic ass. It’s good – it’s really good. I can’t wait to actually scrimmage to see if it holds up against a real jammer totally laying it on, but I’ve got those C cuts down, I have the wiggle, and anyone jamming against me gets knocked off their balance right away. I love it, other than how incredibly exhausting it is.

I’ve had the flu for about two weeks now and it’s almost depressing me. The gym in Monday killed me and I’ve taken the last two days off. I hate it, everyday that passes that I don’t work on endurance could mean another week that I don’t get my laps. The weather is almost nice enough to path skate, I love it. Outdoor path skating every day will be huge for me. I’m thinking, 30 minutes skate with my babe, 1.5 at the gym, 30 minutes skate home, things will really start to improve. Did I mention I lost 7 lbs? No big deal.

Plank 50 sec
Inverted 1 min

Exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Today was an important day. I didn’t achieve something amazing or finally get my laps (and the subsequent Rocky moment after that I run through my head every time before practice) but I realized that we are all here for the same reason; having a fuck ass great time and being with beautiful, amazing people. Each of our journey’s are so different, and thank god for that. Or we would be absolutely no use to each other. But if we are at practice with a willing attitude and didn’t fuck the dog all week on the couch, I’ll say this: we are exactly where we are supposed to be. We can’t be any further than that.

I don’t really believe in Karma in the spiritual sense, but more in the sense that if you do good things and are a good person, you will surround your self with good people who care about you and volia, you will have a good life. Well derby is most definitely a great thing, and I’d like the following people to know how great they are.

Mamasita, I look up to you and appreciate all the help you’ve given my these last few weeks. Gym, food, wheel and emotional advice I could not have done without. Thank you.

Barleigh Legal, I love you. You are a kick ass coach and person and I love your pracices. Every time bomb I can’t do or every plank I can’t hold I blame me, not you, and I train that much harder during the week. It’s your voice I hear in my head at the gym and it’s your approval I will always work my ass off for. Thank you.

Tiny Tank, bless your sweet and POWERFUL heart for seeing I was a little down today after my laps and taking my mind off it with a nice comment. You are a force and I’ll always be working to keep up with you. Thank you.

Whip Scream, I loved seeing you today. I can’t imagine how hard it is to get out of the house as a single mom with two young girls, but derby for them and for you is such wonderful therapy and I’m so happy when I see you come to practice and even happier when I see you lap me. Lol đŸ˜‰ Thank you.

Raggin Dragon, you are amazing. I love everything about you and that you’re achieving. I want to skate with you and be on this journey with you and I’ll do the best that I can from fresh meat, and then soon from a different country (snif). All the girls around you love you too – they want you to hit them, fall down, make mistakes and do everything you need to do to succeed. Everyone is ready to Play, always remember that. This one’s for you; I like the peaceful driving determination of this song.

Frugal exercising

So I was heartbroken to miss derby this weekend. I arranged two different babysitters for two toddlers and was prepared for the whole day endeavour that is my two hour roller derby practice. Of course two days before my dog cut her leg and on saturday night it occurred to me that I couldn’t leave her along with her cone. So practice was cancelled. This unexpected horrible accident happening to my dog also cost me the $850 health credit that my husband’s insurance provides that I was going to use for new equipment and personal training from a kick ass fireball of fitness that is Sparkle Motion. Now I can’t and I’m pissed at the whole situtation. There is a little money left over to buy my some new Atom Stroker Slims so updates on how those work out for a big girl on a sticky floor to follow.

But here’s what is working for me: at Goodlife Fitness, if you volunteer for 8-10 hours a month in the child care room you get a free unlimited membership to everything at the gym. 11-14 hours and you also get free childcare (this is what I’m doing). So for the last three weeks, almost every day I’ve been at the gym. This is just who I am now, I eat well and I train. I love it. Every day that I’m there I can feel and see myself getting better. This is most definitely the best shape I’ve been in in my life. It is still no where close to fit, but it’s great. The BodyFlow class I did today felt amazing – like a massage. Not like a workout, just a really good strech. Downward dog does actually feel like a resting position to me now and I can move somewhat fluidly through the positions and keep up with the instuctor. I didn’t even have to take any of the easier options (it was a super easy class and I’m sure to get my ass kicked at BodyPump on Monday – I’m not getting cocky yet). Side note, our instructor looked like a regular person. I love it.

Another side note: I’m enormous. Like, seriously. I’m cut from a very different cloth from these other girls. Looking at myself in the mirror in class next to everyone else, I look like someone just blew up a slightly chubby person. Sometimes I forget and it almost makes my laugh. In the end, I want to look powerful and instil fear and awe. Like an amazon. There is no other path for me now.